Random Thoughts

Private eye defends integrity of “honey trapping”By Kate Kelland Wed Feb 13, 1:20 PM ET

From yahoo news / Reuters

LONDON (Reuters) - When Richard Martinez goes to a nightclub or bar, he often goes alone.

But the 38-year-old former RAF officer wastes no time in heading for a target — a woman — to flirt with and flatter.

Martinez will not try too hard, but will allow himself to be drawn into conversation and, if asked, will give out his phone number for a potential future date.

Martinez is a “honey trapper” — or as he likes to call himself, an “integrity tester” — one of a growing team of private detectives who are hired by wives, husbands or partners to test the loyalty of their loved ones.

“It’s growing all the time,” he says of his business, the Expedite Detective Agency (www.ex-da.com), which charges 300 pounds ($588) for an integrity test on a potential cheat.

Martinez refutes accusations of marriage-wrecking, arguing that his customers come to him when they are already concerned about their partner’s fidelity or when rumors have led them to suspect an affair. But he admits around 80 percent of targets fail the test and turn out to be ready and willing to cheat on a partner.

Martinez and his colleagues — he has a team of male and female trappers, some more, some less attractive — record the whole “hit” on audio and video, so that the customer can see for themselves how the evening develops.

And Martinez has “rules of engagement”: The target must not be drunk, there must be no touching, and the relative attractiveness of the trapper to the target must be equal.

“It’s got to be a fair test,” he explains. “So we make sure that we don’t set a very attractive honey trapper on a not so attractive target, and vice versa.”

“The customer needs a fair answer to the question of whether their husband or girlfriend is loyal.”

Martinez says that while many of his customers may end their relationships, other use the honey trap to confront unfaithful lovers and appeal to them to change their ways.

“So we can also act as a deterrent,” he says. “The customer can say to their partner: ‘I caught you this time and I want you to change’ and they can warn that they will use the honey trap service in the future to test them again.”

He shrugs off criticism that he is fostering mistrust, and insists he is meeting a real need among British couples. But while Martinez is unashamed about what he does, other such detective agencies are more reticent.

At UK Honey Traps, a service based in Worcestershire in the heart of England and offering trappers across the country, they are not keen to talk.

“We don’t talk to journalists,” a spokesman there told Reuters by telephone. “It wouldn’t help our business.”

They are, however, looking for new recruits.

Under the vacancies section of their Web site, the detective service is on the look-out for “confident, bubbly, outgoing men and women with an ability to think on their feet.”

Becoming a honey trapper demands reliability, honesty and accuracy, it says, and because most of the trapping takes place outside office hours, it can offer “an ideal second career.”

(Editing by Luke Baker)

So how do I get paid to do a study like this? I think it’s pretty obvious.

I do think there may be more differences though if they had studies different groups of women. I mean just because college girls are attracted to and having sexual histories with guys with muscles, it doesn’t necessarily mean that older women are as prone to seek that out as a primary motivator. Or dumber women, or whatever. You know what I mean?

I think articles like this also make it hard on men’s minds and ego, and it also does not give enough information about many women will seek stability and security first, and then look for good genes, which may or may not necessarily lend itself to the whole muscular look thing. I know some really ugly people with lots of muscles that would probably be turned down for a good looking guy with lots of symmetrical genes who does not have as many muscles.

Women drawn to men with muscles

from Reuters 

By Julie Steenhuysen Reuters - Monday, July 9 10:36 pm

CHICAGO (Reuters) - Muscular young men are likely to have more sex partners than their less-chiselled peers, researchers at the University of California Los Angeles said on Monday.
(Advertisement)

Their study, published in the Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin, suggests muscles in men are akin to elaborate tail feathers in male peacocks: They attract females looking for a virile mate.

“Women are predisposed to prefer muscularity in men,” said study author David Frederick of UCLA.

“Most research is focused on what men find physically attractive in women and the career traits women find attractive in men,” Frederick said by telephone. “Much less research is devoted to what women find attractive.”

He said prior studies concluded a man’s desirability was influenced more by his earning potential and commitment. His study found physical characteristics mattered more.

Women were more physically attracted to brawny men, especially for a fling. But when it comes to finding a long-term partner, they tend to pick a regular man over a mate with huge biceps.

“On the one hand, it makes them more sexy to women. On the other hand, it makes women more suspicious about their romantic intentions,” Frederick said.

He and colleagues interviewed 99 male undergraduates about their sexual histories. Muscular men were twice as likely to have had more than three sex partners than less-built types.

Frederick and colleagues also asked 141 college women to look at six standardized silhouettes of men ranging from brawny to slender. Most preferred a toned man who was more likely to commit over a muscle-bound man they perceived as more volatile, aggressive and dominant.

Intersting thoughts on being freidns with your ex, or things to consider when your lover is still goof rriends with their ex lover(s) -

An article found via now public (the article at now public has more from this story, and a video link with a Q&A with these relationship pundits.)

So your partner claims to be just friends with a previous lover…

Fact is, it’s only natural to continue to have feelings for your ex even after the break up. But what happens when your partner remains good friends with their ex? Is it possible for them to be ‘just’ friends or will they be prone to ’slippage’?

Is this really possible? Should you trust them?

We feel that love is not finite and that it’s very possible to love many different people for different reasons. We love our children, our parents, our friends, and our pets. We love them all dearly, but in slightly different ways.

So, yes. We do think it’s possible for your partner to remain friends with their ex girlfriend, boyfriend, or spouse. There’s nothing wrong with this as long as there are no secrets about the relationship. Your partner should be completely open and honest with you about their feelings and where they stand.

Wait. Get more relationship and dating articles like this one at http://www.AskDanAndJennifer.com. Get answers to your most pressing questions about Dating, Relationships, Love, and Sex.

Also find information about adult dating sites and more tips at this adult dating site.

Put this in the “yeah honey that bill for the private investigator on the credit card bill  is toinvestigate if our daughter is having an affair” - no really.

From Reuters 

JERUSALEM (Reuters) - An Israeli man who hired a detective to find out whether his daughter was cheating on her husband was told by the investigator his wife was in fact the one being unfaithful, an Israeli newspaper reported on Sunday.

The man had his daughter followed at the request of his son-in-law, who had been suspicious of his wife’s behavior. The daughter was found innocent but the private investigator managed to snap photographs of the mother and another man caught in the act, the Maariv daily said.

“I saved my daughter’s marriage and at the same time, saved myself from a woman who had it all in life but chose another man,” the man, who has since sought to end the marriage, was quoted as telling his lawyer.

I’m filing this under dating issues, as everyone should be able to afford a private investigator to checkup on their mate. You never know when someone is fucking around it seems.

This new mobile dating gets funding, and I think it is a great idea, and cool technology that will probably be integrated into other portals in the future, although they probably won’t have to worry about the big telcos trying to get into the adult dating space. This is another example of how technology can make it easier and easier to find new partners and thus giving people more options to be less committed to traditional relationships. In the comments at techcrunch it seems that the gay market was first to introduce a similar service, I wonder how many users they have, and if they will release any data subdividing the user base.

This kind of thing would probably be really big in Europe where the “toothing” and “dogging” seem to be pretty popular.